So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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