Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
