im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
