marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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