Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
