We named our party play list daddy issues
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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