Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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