she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
