Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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