He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize