let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
