he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Damn victory sex feels great
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
