i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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