Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
