everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
