When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just high enough for therapy.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
