i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it hurts more in the daytime
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
