Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
