TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
