It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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