i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
