How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
