I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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