sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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