At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
