Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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