bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
