my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
