I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
