What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
