Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
