Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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