I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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