he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize