ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize