FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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