She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
