have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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