Non-Jews are for practice
he puts the penis in happiness.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize