Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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