At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
