So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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