if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
