That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
