Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize