My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
