that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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