she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
