You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need to calm my uterus...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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