Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
