Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
