booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
