hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you traded sex for a burrito?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
