I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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