Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize