i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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