I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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