is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
