I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
