____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
