just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
