Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
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How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
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It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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