Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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