i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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