Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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