it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
