I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
