I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
